I dun wanna remain as friends all the way....

Am i juz gonna back down once more?? i hate to see her leave... right now, i can only apologise... i dun wanna pressurise her yet i dun wanna suffer again... maybe i am juz pure selfish...

I once thought if she is happy, i will be fine but tats juz bullshit... i cant let it down... bear with it, cry it out...

I feel so empty inside... i went out to run and it rained halfway... i guess the rain cool me down... wad do u noe? it hurts... it really does...

I was drunk today... there was something pressing on my heart today, so heavy... u said u had someone u admired, sorry... why did u have to be sorry? i am juz nothing to u... ur sorry is a torture to me... when u say that, wad i thought was not about myself, but how to make u dun mind me, or maybe i was thinking too much in the first place.... thinking back, i am juz a stranger passing into ur life... i mocked at myself... is god playing with me?? alcohol, so bitter yet something so dearing when u are down... it was hard... i went home and gulped down water, trying to numb myself... but i thank you, for dashing my hope and hurting me now... i wanna noe wad i had mean to u in the past... how can school get so dreadful to me?? i hope u never see the misery behind those hypocritical smiling faces and u enjoy ur happiness... perhaps, for me, happiness was not to be...

Wa at home damn sian sia... sprained my leg, scared will have after effect sia... boring dao~~ i want go exercise sia but cant go out...